Curlew Admirer T-Shirts

"Just once, I'd like to knee some sonofab*tch."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"We haven't danced in ages."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Tortoises breakdancing

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

Halloween sculptor

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

Someday, the worm will turn.

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

'You got a search warrant?'

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

'Hey! When did you learn cursive?'

"Vote the Raven: 'Never Trump!'"

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

"Luckily, my insurance covers roadside assistance."

Wolfman riding in the Car

"Don't miss a single word, Edgar. I am not going to dictate this poem again: once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary..."

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

"Rats, the peace-talks are progressing well and they're pushing for a cease-fire: better make the most of it while we can..."

"Looks like she's not home."

"I'm on a diet. I'm taking a blood thinner."