Cupboard Captain T-Shirts

"Must you precede everything you say with 'This is your captain speaking'?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Verbal Orders

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"At ease!"

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

"Wait...Did I Say 'North'?"

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."