Culture Juggler Mugs

Yid and Yang

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Work/Life Balance

Introducing...Anagraman.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Translating . . . poetry.

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

Children.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"Now close your eyes and go to sleep or Daddy will read you more of his novel."

"I've learned to compartmentalize my stress."

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"Right, 1:02 minutes to the corporate conference meeting."

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."