Cultural Mix-up Enthusiast Gifts

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

"OMG, LOL!"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Easter Island Cheeseheads

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

My url is: http:/how:/um:/powwow.co.chiese.html.

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

"Virgin?! My bad. . . I thought you asked for a vegan."

Deck the halls with boughs of challah...

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'Sorry. We have no senor discount.'

His suit: Italian. His shoes: English. His fries: French.

"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

'Well, one of us is in the wrong desert!'

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

"There she is! The Holy Bubbha!"

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

The first and last matador to try karate instead of a cape.

Chère Maman

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

"We adopted her in China, and we're having her raised there, too,"

Snake and Football.

"Why, no, Zeke, I didn’t read Jesse Barron’s interview with Rachel Kushner in the spring issue of The Paris Review."

"An investment group from Tokyo is here. To me it looks like a hostile takeover bid."

"I'm originally from Manhattan but I grew up in the Midwest."

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

Suddenly a delightful Continental custom is sweeping America!

"You've got the microwave, sauce and 15 minutes to make a traditional English Korma."

Immigration Integration Evening - 'We're hoping to meet some east European builders.'