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NO Damn Silverware...Authentic Chinese Cuisine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Like death by salad.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Try to guess the continent dining...

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Your lobster was off!

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Before/After

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Sauce for the Goose

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

French wine

Important Food Groups

Our visit to the flan factory.

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."