Cultural Dining Experiences Gifts

"I'm going to ask for a fork. Don't try to stop me."

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

Tourists

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Is the MSG local?"

'How is the water prepared?'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

I love Museum Shops

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'He's been back packing around India and doesn't he want everyone to know it.'

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

Snake Charming

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'You made me jump,'

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

Odd Spas

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

Foreigner ready for the hunt

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"Wow, that kid does not like Georgia O'Keeffe."

You can substitute broccoli for the asparagus, but you can't substitute another glass of wine for the fries.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'What I like about Magaloof Tracey is it feels so foreign.'