Cultural Crafts Collector Gifts

'Hey, Andy, check out your ninja catcher!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Snowmen Around The World...

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Art Gallery.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"He's an abstract artist."

Brainstorm in progress.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"I read 'Art News.'"

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"