Cultist In Training Gifts

Philosophical Doomsayers.

The Bookworm

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

Alms Bank

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

"Simon, I'm not really interested in your juvenilia."

"For some, minimalism begins at a very early age..."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"You're not going anywhere, young man, until you probe and release your catch!"

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

'Watch yourself.'

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

"No, honey, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have the measles."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

I think it's time to clean the basement.

'This painting makes no sense. Where are the directions?'

'This hand puppet is ambidextrous. It can be used on either hand.'

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

Reading 'Levetation Magazine'.

Losing sense of materialism after being mugged

"I thought I'd try out bedlam."

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

Pop quiz!

"Rich guys are ruthless. They give no quarter."

Kid, you can't go taking credit cards and identities. It's stealing. Just the same as if you stole something from a store. Yes sir. I want to be a good person. I won't do it anymore. And no freezing my assets. You're no fun at all.

"We don't need to push down on the pedal QUITE so hard, Petunia."