Culinary Tools Gifts

"These kitchen shears are great for cutting plastic packaging. . . like the packaging they come in."

Soup of the month.

Garden.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Too much cilantro

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

I love Cannelloni

Holiday Supplies

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Please don't kill me."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

The perfect man

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"My compliments to the can opener."

"Pie chart"

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

Scales

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"You know, we have our little spats, but we don't argue about what to eat nearly as much as other couples."

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

People were amazed by the dexterity of the automatic pizza-making machine.