Culinary Indulgence Advocate T-Shirts

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

Any time is cake o'clock

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Make your resolutions achievable.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

'Therapy?'

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

Dessert

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Dieting is for losers.

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"I found this fabulous new shop."

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

'My compliments to mummy.'

Fine candies: Healthy eating is our no. '6' concern.

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

He'll have a crumb of wheat toast. No I won't! I'll have a sausage biscuit with cheese. And we'll have a plain glass of water. No I won't! I'll have a mocha with whipped cream. And for dessert … I'll have a hot buttered blueberry scone with pumpkin-spice frosting and peppermint sprinkles! That looks lovely! He'll have plain yogurt. If you don't eat right, you won't be around for me to berate. Give me a double donut burger! A triple would be more humane. House of Java.

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

We'll have the Christmas feast for one. She means for two. He'll have a small bowl of cold oatmeal. No I won't! I'll have that Christmas feast! The turkey … the stuffing, the yams, the pumpkin pie a la mode with whipped cream, the extra-thick, brandy-infused eggnogg, the cranberry sauce, the succulent ham ... the reindeer jerky, the frosted sugar cookies with butter flakes, and the noose-shaped chocolate cupcakes with cheese filling. He'll have half a saltine cracker. You know what the doctors s

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.

'Sure I eat three desserts but each trip I put only one dessert on my plate. That way I walk off the calories.'

'Have you noticed that when you're on a diet the food you cheat with tastes so much better.'

'Don't you think you're pampering him a bit?'