Culinary Graduation Gifts

American Pastry

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Chef

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Cookbooks

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Picking pastries.

"Rump roast?"

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"I come here for the pepper."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"