Culinary Dj T-Shirts

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Ice Cream Surgeon

The wonderful world of cheese.

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"States of tofu"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Chez Nous Menu

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Soup of the month.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Pi Ala Mode.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Children's Feast.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"