Culinary Cop Enthusiast T-Shirts

Police Cordon Bleu

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

GM Crops Genie.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Turkey Autopsy

Horse meat scandal.

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

The History of Anti-stick

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

"Whoever did this was chillingly methodical about it."

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

'Waiter! There's a . . . oh, never mind.'

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

'He's very fussy about his food.'

Butcher Shop. Special: Soup Bones! Soup has bones?!

Thoroughbred Burger Meat

"Stomach content analysis shows the onions were sauteed after the pork was added but before adding the fennel."