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"Here's how our eating challenge works. The meal is free if you finish it without running across the street for a burger afterwards."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Thou Shalt Not!

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Onion operation.

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Amy Sedaris

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Bottomless bowl of soup

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Is the slop fresh?"

'Roast chickens £4. Pensioners £3.'