Culinary Clinician T-Shirts

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Soup of the month.

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Picking pastries.

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Rump roast?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Garden.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Too much cilantro

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."