Culinary Bungler Pillows

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

To do before Saturday...

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"More helium."

"Namasteak"

'You made me jump.'

It's all gravy.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

A balanced diet is a Cherry Cheesecake in each hand.

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

Out and In.

"Don't worry. We've never hit a target since we've been in office."

"But I ordered death by chocolate."

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

'The molto randy refelled her genoise.'

Mixing Business and Pleasure

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'My compliments to mummy.'

Cannibal: 'FOOOOD FIGHT!

"Is that your answer for everything...fold in a stick of butter?"

"That was fun. Let's do it all again in three weeks."

Too many kooks spoil the Broth.

"What smells so good? -- I'm not cooking for you, but for my dog."

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

'I asked you if you wanted to lick the bowl....not the bull.'