Cubicle King T-Shirts

"The entrance to my cubicle is three feet away. Please respect my partition."

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

Every morning, without fail, Ed's coworkers greeted him with a withering fusillade of near-recognition.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Overworked in the office

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Lemonade Inc.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Another day at work would be one too many...

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Inout baskets.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Computer monitor for a head.

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"