Crystal Ball Collector T-Shirts

Fortune-teller: 'AHH, what the...?!'

"...And this room is where the bank works out the rates forecasts!"

Madame Zoola: Sees all, knows all . . . (except which is the best way to reform healthcare)

True Confessions

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."

Madame Krystal: Psychic

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"You will die unexpectedly in an inexplicable accident."

Fortune teller's answering crystal.

"I see you on a beach..."

Govt. UK led by Seance

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

'How much?!... I wanted my fortune read, not taken from me!'

'It's behind you! It's behind you!'

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

"I can see no farther than the final episode of the first season."

"I see that you came here by mistake. You were really looking for miss Zoe, the striptease artist two tents down."

'No news from the after-world. He must not have gotten there yet.'

"I'd like to be tried by a Jury of my Seers."

Paranormal Fair: 'Closed due to unforeseen circumstances'

'Don't add potassium nitrate to anything this year.'

'You meet Mister Right, house prices are down - Oops! I've got it upside down again!'

Madam Mae: Fortune teller - Fortune 500.

'Your reckless nature will lead to good fortune and misery for millions.'

'Do you want a small medium or large?'

"You will live a short but fruitful life."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'