Crutch Commander T-Shirts

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"Ernie! Watch the speed bu..."

'Y'all come back soon, now, hear?'

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

TV-Man

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Culinary surgery.

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Still on your left."

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

Broken ankle.

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

"Sky, sir?"

Just Married

You've grazed the refrigerator, surfed the net, flipped the channels...for someone who doesn't move much, you sure do get around.

Worshiping the TV.

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

The first successful removal of a TV remote control from an adult male's clenched fist.

'Presently, Reinhart, I possess a controlling interest in comfy chair and the remote.'

'He's not afraid of hard work-look at the way he fights it!'

'I'm glad to see you had no problems transitioning from the lazy days of spring, to the lazy days of summer.'

"Back in my day, 'Call of Duty' wasn't a game."

"Stop surfing so fast, you'll fall off the board."