Cruise Goer Pillows

"Sorry... But I'm afraid this is a couples only cruise!"

'We're running low on food, everyone. I think we should cut out the 'All-you-can-eat' buffets.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

'See you in two weeks!'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"Ticket and passport, please."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

The Desert Island Package

Cruise.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'It always great to get away from it all.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

Skiing at Sea

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

Viking River Raids

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

Tui River Cruise

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

'I can't get them to leave. They want to sign up for another cruise.'

"This next tune is dedicated to my wife, who is currently away on a cruise. I call it, 'The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea'."

Excess Baggage: Take lots of photos on your cruise so you can show folks what you looked like before you gained those 20 pounds.

'This MUST be our ship!'

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."