Cruise Enthusiast With A Funny Bone Pillows

'Yes, our cruises allow travellers to choose from several viruses...I mean, ports of call.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Ticket and passport, please."

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'House wine?'

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Tom Cruise

"Oooh... bacon!"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

"This next tune is dedicated to my wife, who is currently away on a cruise. I call it, 'The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea'."

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

Excess Baggage: Take lots of photos on your cruise so you can show folks what you looked like before you gained those 20 pounds.

'This MUST be our ship!'

Boss, we got a UFO sighting...Unidentified Frying Object.'

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'I can't get them to leave. They want to sign up for another cruise.'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."