Crowd Connoisseur Mugs

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

Gives speech, then carries audience away.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"He's an abstract artist."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

The Kali De Milo.

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

Mass Travel

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Chinese History: Redwash

"It's called 'Sold'."

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Who's the artist?"

Burger stall at an art gallery

Australia's role in the Asian century.