Cross-country Traveler Pillows

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

'I've just travelled half-way across the country and you tell me he's escaped?'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Listen! They're playing our bong."

Vaccination Passport

Easter Island is still a tourist site after the oceans rise due to global warming.

"Valet park only"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

The Decline of Europe

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

Citizen of the world.

Actualities - Killing time whilst waiting for the Exhibition to open

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

Fleeing Kabul

Snake Charmer's Snake on Strike.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'Globalsiation risky? How d'you mean?'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"And that's why you go on safari."