Critical Eye Pillows

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Love is Blind.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Large print e-book.

The Three Kinds of People

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

OMG.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

Optometrist Humor

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."