Critical Eye Pillows

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Large print e-book.

The Three Kinds of People

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

OMG.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

Optometrist Humor

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"Writing that book was a real strain."

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'You say you're having trouble seeing the future.'