Critic's Corner T-Shirts

'I hope that's all your own work, Spot.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

Trump Poutine

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

The new Physics

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

"You'll never believe who's here."

Seamus Heaney

"Political cartoons that make people think? Are you crazy? We don't want to distract our readers from the weather forecast, the horoscope and the advertisements!"

Samuel Beckett

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"