Crisps Enthusiast Pillows

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Barbeque Casualty.

Crab with a clown face.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Baker Romance

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

The Perfect Foil

Feast

'You've changed since we got married.'

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

Cookery Lesson.