Crisis Negotiator T-Shirts

Crisis Negotiator on Vacation

'Forget his mother. He wants to talk to an agent about selling his story!'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Away with the warmonger!"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Out.

'Crisis'

"Beg for peace!"

COVID-19 Stops Economy

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'RIGHT! Just you wait 'till Tony Blair hears about this!'

'Here, William, take this - the G8 has chosen you to nip over for a one-to-one with Assad...'

Overdraft limit.

"I say we shoot anyone who claims we broke the ceasefire!"

Middleast Peace

Tsipras and Merkel

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

Iraq and the road ahead...

Peace in Gaza?

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Coronavirus: People Dying/People Losing Money

Desk bins contain fires to be put out.

"To avoid trouble, I've brought in a troubleshooter."

'We're all still learning the agree-to-disagree concept.'

'Well, you knew the peace process was going to be dangerous.'

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

Meanwhile, at the E.C.B. ...

President Obama: 'You're saying, we go back to a cash only economy, and if that doesn't work, the barter system!'

"It's the superintendent's idea of alternative dispute resolution."