Crisis Chuckler T-Shirts

"Rona you say, well nice to meet you." (man talking to the corona virus)

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"If global warming is a left wing plot... it's a very good one."

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

Nobody noticed when poor Farmer Jack froze to death in the snow at the front of his farm.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Keyboard in Heaven

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"I don't know. I just don't think this 'bowling' thing will work."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

Teacher to student with spots: 'Tests make you nervous and break out in what?'

'Bless you!'

'You were afraid for the drill?'

'Of course it's renewable -- you just throw more sticks on it!'

'Can you let me have five till Obama bails us all out, sir?'

"He says masks are mandatory to enter. Should we try the other place instead?"

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'