Criminal Psychiatrist T-Shirts

"You're allowed some final words... As long as you don't say anything that will make your situation any worse."

Hate Platforms

America, are we learning anything?

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

Violent Crime Statistics

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

"Paper or plastic?"

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."