Animal Psychiatrist T-Shirts

Dog Shrink - "So how was I to know he meant it literally."

'Animal Psychiatrist' (a dog).

"And you need to control distemper of yours."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

Licensed Therapist

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'