Animal Psychologist T-Shirts

"Lassie! Get help!!"

"Every year, the zebras get faster and faster."

'I'd like to get my bark and bite in harmony.'

Beware of dog, with issues.

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"All those fire hydrants... too many to count, just waiting for me... it's too much! Stop torturing yourself, Bailey!"

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"Stupid obedience school. As if we don't want to learn physics or computer science or something."

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. For dogs maybe, but not for cats.

Horse Whisperer.

Dog problems

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"Have you ever asked yourself why people call you bad dog?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

"The hyenas started it."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."