Crime Story Addict Pillows

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Their guests having left, the Millers returned underground.

Sherlock Holmes.

"I stole a smart car and it took me straight to the police department."

"O.K., how about this: instead of assassinating her straight out, we subject her to steam heat all winter, so her skin gets really dry and she's prone to nosebleeds and her eyes itch and she's just a little bit uncomfortable at all times for months on end?"

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

'Going into sudden death overtime is serious business with these teams.'

Agatha Christie slept in this room... or was it room 17?

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

Mafioso To Do List

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Paper or plastic?"

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

Book market

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Handcuffs.

"Make it look like an accident"

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

The book that will not be denied!

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'