Crime Scene Commentator Mugs

"Now, tell us what happened, in your own words."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"We need rain."

Next camera crew 5 mins

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Turkey Autopsy

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

Penguin identity parade

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

Police Fair.

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

'It's a cursor.'

"As a matter of fact, yes, it was an amicable divorce."

'Take your time sir.'

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'