Crime Scene Comedians Mugs

I thought you might want to color it in. Color chalk. 1 1 1 2 1 1 4 4 5 5

Uses of a Dead Car in History: '...and probably with a reasonably blunt instrument.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

The Mafia Goes Green.

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"Do you accept ill-gotten gains?"

"We find a murdered ventriloquist dummy and have reason to believe you had a hand in it."

"One ventriloquist dummy on trial for murder and we believe you had a hand in it."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

'All your money or the pig sneezes!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'I think my husband is trying to bore me to death.'

Messing Up My Metrics