Crime Novel Enthusiast Gifts

Best-seller fiction list.

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

'Honest, I love it, but I really don't think the publishing house can successfully market 'Crime for Dummies'.'

'If your previous work involved 'hits', maybe you'd enjoy working in local radio or something?'

"No wonder, they've taken all the good stuff."

"Tia Carmen, it's called the 'lotto scam'! Con artists look for older people who look innocent but maybe have lots of money!"

Baseball bats 50 off.

Criminals reading book entitled:'Tinker,tailor,soldier,grass'.

'These days criminals are getting more and more amateurish!'

'Oh, stop whimpering -- I've got troubles of my own!'

'That's the third this morning Carl. This is shaping up to be a real bad hair day.'

'Here's my card. Call me when you get caught.'

The mob's first moves into the information age.

"Your deductions, Mr Holmes, aren't brilliant! They're stupid!"

'I'm to defend you.'

A prisoners waiting room adjoining a police court

Descriptive Shop Signs Warn Of Deadly Alleyway

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"...if my boss likes what he sees in here, you’ll be rolling in treats."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?