Crime Mystery Enthusiast Mugs

'Yes! That's it! --- Only the handles were a lot longer.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Mobsters at the Beach

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

Ignorance of the Law

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Gangster's To-Do List