Crime Boss In Training Gifts

"You been a problem to us for the last time."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Slow Night

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

Gullboy and Pigeonman

Pranking Zombies

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

'As you know, gentlemen, innovation at the point of sale accounts for our competitive edge.'

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

It was official. She was desperate.

The Professionals.

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"Don't fall for it, Dogman!"

Crime-Be-Gone - Fence-O-Matic!

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

'This should come out just right.'

R. H. Gross - Criminal Law

'I'll get my people to talk to your people, and we can go off and have a picnic.'

"I'm your muscle's personal trainer."

Army Promotions Board. You need to select one of these contenders for promotion to lieutenant colonet. It's like being in college. I have to pick a major.

"Freeze, or I'll mop the floor with you!"

What's 'e done, Governor?

"I'm very touched, fellows."

"I'm overcompensated, but I'm not overcompensated enough."