Creepy Basement Explorer Gifts

"You see? That noise you heard was just the man-monster Daddy cobbled together using stolen cadaver parts."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Out To Lurch

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

The discovery of electricity...

Naked Mole Rat

'It's an antique!'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

Going Down?

"Professor, this changes everything."

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

"Oooh... bacon!"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'They played 'Digging' the whole afternoon: They had lots of fun !'

"Let us be a city under a hill, for all the world not to see."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

'I'm bored with the Sisyphus channel. Switch to the Tantalus channel.'

'Repossessed? No, I said it was possessed.'

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"It's really a long cave...prepare to binge watch."

"This guilt complex is killing me!"

Homing Beatnik

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Caveman bathroom

Subway Library

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"