Creative Home Entertainer Pillows

Golfer putting into dead bear

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

Yard Sale

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

The Hammer

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'Now cut that out!'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"5...4...3...2..."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

Entertainment systems

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

"Don't be silly - we're being perfectly fine hosts."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Carpet Cows

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

Pottery Slam