Creative Home Entertainer Pillows

Golfer putting into dead bear

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

The Hammer

Yard Sale

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'Now cut that out!'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"5...4...3...2..."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

Entertainment systems

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Don't be silly - we're being perfectly fine hosts."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Carpet Cows

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Pottery Slam