Creative Critiquing T-Shirts

Throwing Away Music

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

The Rise of Modern Art

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Mon Dieu! This year, your collection is really daring, mon cher Karl!'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"I could do that."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"He's left out the staples"

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Bad Office Planning

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

"He's a mental-health critic."

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."