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Art Guidelines

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

"Now I really hate poetry."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Build a Raft

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"A new Super Guardian attack vehicle? No no, I built this for Burning man."

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

"I could do that."

When lice dream.

"I saw Elvis kissing Santa Claus."

"I think the banana looks like a mustache, or a weird smile or something. How about an apple? ... Just a suggestion."

"Another nightmare?"

'Was it the beaver dream again?'

"Please, no! Not the pit of people endlessly describing their dreams in great detail!"

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

Then the tree walked away, and I said good-bye to it... what a dumb dream... whose idea was it to analyse my ideas.

Rude Americans.