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Art Guidelines

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

"Now I really hate poetry."

Build a Raft

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

"I could do that."

"A new Super Guardian attack vehicle? No no, I built this for Burning man."

"I saw Elvis kissing Santa Claus."

When lice dream.

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

"Another nightmare?"

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Please, no! Not the pit of people endlessly describing their dreams in great detail!"

'Was it the beaver dream again?'

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

Then the tree walked away, and I said good-bye to it... what a dumb dream... whose idea was it to analyse my ideas.

Rude Americans.