Creation Myth Fan Pillows

"In the beginning was the word. Bubba bubba bubba, bird bird bird, bird is the word."

'Technically speaking, though, isn't Eve under age?'

'Flying fish? - I TOLD you there was too much background radiation down there!'

"Just Adam and Eve? - That wasn't much of a dating pool."

The creationist patient.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Going Down?

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"