Crazy Shows Prints

"Wow! These are some crazy programs. I feel like I'm Alice in Streaming Land."

Zombie standup

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Now that's a win."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Succession 2

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Police film evidence

Pet Entertainers

"Happy Birthday!"

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

He loves the water.

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Happy Birthday Magicians of America

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

The Investigation

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'