Crash Test Dummy Fan Pillows

'The last time you were here, your room was trashed.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"The invention of taxidermy."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

Head in the sand.

Maths Fail

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

Submarine emerges on top of building

Concerto for...head-on crash and orchestra.

'This industry's going to the wall!'

'How come I never get to drive on our dates?'

'Junior just found out he was an accident.'

Crash dummy test lab has sign: 1039 days without an injury.

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

Crash Test Smartie

0 Days Since Last Accident

"I had a little fender bender on the way home. The fender is in 6th Ave., the bumper on the 5th ave, the door on 4th and the hood around the corner."

Crash test dummy has sign in rear of test car that says "Dummy On Board"

"I brought you a new car last year."

'I collided with this stationary truck coming the other way!'

'Every test your son turns in is an absolute mess, Mr. and Mrs. Rorschach.'

"OMG! My husband is home!"

'Show me your license and registration, sir.'