Crash Diet Comedy Pillows

Who says crash diets don't work?

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens in my diet.'

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'92 elements in the Universe and you always have to chuck the compound NaCl all over your dinner!'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

The cake diet.

'Does it come in soy lite?'

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."