Craft Queen Gifts

"I can quit whenever I want to."

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

I love embroidery

Let's check out our dress options for the eco prom. Excellent idea. Google "green prom dresses." I bet there are tons of ideas. You're right. Lime, kelly, forest

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

Sew on a sequin!

Crotchet

Curtsey

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'I ran into a whittler.'

Big Berts Brickmaking Academy

"Politics has divided everything."

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

Our Heirloom Christmas Ornaments.

Sheep Knitting.

Pandemic Orphans

Favorite Selections from 800,000 Things To Do With a Scarf

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'

Crocheting during lockdown

Kid imagines shop project getting an A; teacher imagines the same project in his fireplace.

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

Potter

'Say what you will about Mad Dog Jensen... He was the craftiest adversary we ever faced!'

Pinterest shaming

"Welcome to the ladies' knitting app circle."

Web Stockings

"Hey, Mama!! Step it up!!!"

Locally made, handcrafted cars - no two alike.