Craft Queen Gifts

"I can quit whenever I want to."

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

I love embroidery

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

Curtsey

Crotchet

Sew on a sequin!

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

'I ran into a whittler.'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Big Berts Brickmaking Academy

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

"Politics has divided everything."

Sheep Knitting.

Our Heirloom Christmas Ornaments.

Favorite Selections from 800,000 Things To Do With a Scarf

Kid imagines shop project getting an A; teacher imagines the same project in his fireplace.

Crocheting during lockdown

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'

Pandemic Orphans

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

Potter

Pinterest shaming

'Say what you will about Mad Dog Jensen... He was the craftiest adversary we ever faced!'

"Welcome to the ladies' knitting app circle."

Web Stockings

Locally made, handcrafted cars - no two alike.

"Hey, Mama!! Step it up!!!"

Woodworkers Club Meeting, Room 23. Splinter Group, Room 24.