Crab Complainant T-Shirts

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

Desert Island Meals.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

Crab with a clown face.

Swimming Prankster

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

"That's the Ommbudsman."

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"It's not actually a promotion, Henderson, we're moving you sideways."

Turn that noise down !

'He sidled in, said there's not enough oxygen at his place and that he's staying here until they figure out what's causing the Dead Zone.'

"I think I speak for all of us."

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

'Why are you always so crabby?'

"I'm sick of that bloody racket next door...!!"

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"