Cozy Caffeinator Pillows

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Reading the sports pages.

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Being angry about shovelling snow will only make it harder for you, daddy...you need to just accept the snow...instead of thinking of it as a chore, you hate, make friends with it.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"Love me?"

"Thing about human interest stories is, they always presume you're interested in humans."

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

Book Igloo

'How long has what been going on?'

'Care to gaze on the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

Show Mom You Love Her!

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

Dog in the Bed.

'I don't get out of bed for this kind of money.'

'All I want to know is--when do I get to use the quadratic formula, political facts of South America, frog anatomy, the ecology of Johnson Creek, and the billions of other things I spent twelve years studying so diligently?'

"Which side do you want?"

"I could argue about foot and mouth until the cows come home."

E-Books.

"Have you seen my onesie?"

'Finished! You see, I'm not slow at everything: I'm a great speed-reader...'

"The Corona Diaries"

Melting Snow Trophies