Cowpoke Humorist Gifts

F&E Ranch. If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer a tattoo.

"Sorry, but they call themselves cowboys: so they must love us more than they love their horses..."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

Sick Rancher Humor

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

A Grazing Shark

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'Hey, buddy, this is a cattle subdivision.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Soon as the roundup is over and we head for a saloon we'll need a volunteer to be the designated drover.'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

'God darn it Tex! I kept telling you if you keep on punching cows one day one is going to punch you back.'

'I must be going. Shawn is getting restless.'

"This desk job is killing me Jim. I need to be out in the field."

Cow Boy

A horse of a different color, and matching scarf.

'Hello Shitty.'

"Ok stranger - you draw first...."

Agoraphobic Cowboys: 'Give me land, not much land, in a tight confining space please fence me in!'

1876: The Wild West

"The buck stops here. You called?"

'How'd you like to become my sidekick?'

Cow wrestling with ring through nose.

"Every day is Pancake Day!"

Chicken chaps

Cow Writers Block.

"If you're lookin' for treble, stranger, you've come to the right place!"

"And I don't want you tellin' those cowpokes back at the bar-zo 'bout this pillow!"

'Gimme something to wash down the taste of trail dust on my balls...'