Courtside Comedians T-Shirts

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Gary turns 40.

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

'Not here - home!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

No caption

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"